So, you’re in college. In theory, you are going there to get an education. In reality, you are also interested in having a social life. Besides, you will have all kinds of single people around your age as potential friends. With all of that, why is college dating so challenging? Let’s look at some possible answers to this important question.
Not to sound trite, but college students are going through a major transition to total independence and adulthood. That alone is a huge challenge. Plus, expectations are higher from the students themselves, others around them, as well as what’s expected academically. While some college students are teenagers, they are also adults by most measures. On top of all of this, college students are away from long-held relationships they have formed. Family, team mates, friends, acquaintances and girlfriends and boyfriends are usually left behind once the student is in college.
Just how daunting is it to deal with these personal, physical, emotional and academic changes? College can be quite intimidating, especially for students who are attending school far from home. Moving not only means the loss of relationships, but also leaving behind their usual emotional support system, whether family, friends or place of worship. All of these new expectations and experiences only make college dating more complicated. Add to that the fact that almost everybody at any given college come from different backgrounds. That results in there being less common ground on which to connect with and build upon.
One thing to keep in mind about dating in college is to not approach it in an overly-serious manner. There is already more than enough serious things to deal with for any college student, dating doesn’t have to be another. Now, that’s not saying you shouldn’t date at all, or avoid any sort of romance. That’s not the point.
Instead, try to focus on the enjoyment of getting to other people. Take the emphasis off of finding a serious relationship, and just try to make friends. Think of it as another way to share the experience of college with someone else. You may want to try dating those in the same classes as you, as there will be some level of shared common interest. This will also help to keep your comfort level in check, and make it feel a lot less challenging.
There is no reason why college dating has to be hard if you know the best way to approach it. All new college students will face new challenges, but dating doesn’t have to be one of them. Go into it with the right attitude, without putting pressure on you or your date for anything too serious. However, if things go well, then by all means continue to let things progress naturally. Many people have met their current spouses when they were in college. If it happens, that’s great! But don’t go out on dates with the thought of finding a marriage partner. Just enjoy being with somebody and let things happen as they may.
